A few thoughts on (fe)male chauvinism

A friend of mine referred to herself as a 'male chauvinist'.

She did so repeatedly during our conversation. And each time she did so, my heart fell a bit more. (To clarify, she did not mean a female chauvinist who has disparaging views about men. She was referring to the way she views women.)

Well, firstly there's the obvious- she is a cis female- a woman who was assigned female at birth and who identifies as female- by virtue of logic she cannot be a male chauvinist.

Secondly, can a woman really be a chauvinist?

The Oxford Dictionary defines male chauvinism as: "Male prejudice against women; the belief that men are superior in terms of ability, intelligence, etc."

So what drives a woman to internalise and advocate the view that she is any 'less' than a man. Does she truly believe that her life is of less value than that of her husband. That her needs are not of equal importance. That her work, the things she does, are not as important as those of a man.

Unfortunately, it would appear so.

And it's heartbreakingly sad.

She repeatedly tells me that she is happy to be in this role. That this is her place. This is what she needs to do and that she is so lucky. That is what she tells me, over and over again. She is trying to convince me that she is content but I am standing in her kitchen and just thinking that she is talking to herself, trying to convince herself that she is in fact happy and content.

She is wonderful. She is strong and kind. Generous, intelligent and funny. People marvel at her great talents and yet she's humble to the point of self-deprecation.

Her talents do not really count. Her success does not really count. Her needs do not really count. It's all just a folly.

I wish she could see herself like I do. Like everyone does.

#women #chauvinism #gender #equality #selfworth #introjectedvalues #selfesteem #relationships